Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
