I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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