He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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