Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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