Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize