we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
