Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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