Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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