I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
