This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
