Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
