If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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