We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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