I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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