I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
