I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
