What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
