I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
