I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
