i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
