We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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