Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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