did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
