i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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