So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
