Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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