She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
