honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Farmville is her only friend.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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