My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
