roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
