You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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