how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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