Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
