Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
should my penis look like a turkey
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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