Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
