Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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