she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
