Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
