Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
