I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
