Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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