doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
