remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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