i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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