sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
