Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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