Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
