I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
