three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
