he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
