also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
